So drunk its hurt
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
