Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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