Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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