I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just had sex on a roof
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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