we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
