yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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