Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK

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(509): View more from Washington

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Becoming a productive member of society?

(509): View more from Washington

Sam. Come on.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

u downloaded tardy 4 the party

(864): View more from South Carolina

then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record

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(229): View more from Georgia

New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(302): View more from Delaware

you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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(713): View more from Texas

onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.

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(831): View more from California

When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.

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