I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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