Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
