My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
