they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
