Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
