it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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