i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
