Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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