Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
