i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
