A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
