smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I am one with the molecules
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
