How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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