i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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