i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
