community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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