i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
