let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
