Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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