dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize