I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
