I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
