Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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