Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
