I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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