Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.

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  (541): My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick. http://tfl.nu/phsi
  Replies (30) Good night (765) Bad night (6288)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...

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  (713): You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong... http://tfl.nu/oapp
  Replies (30) Good night (4320) Bad night (573)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.

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  (402): as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy. http://tfl.nu/byhd
  Replies (21) Good night (656) Bad night (5964)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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  (630): Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening. http://tfl.nu/nbt7
  Replies (15) Good night (5410) Bad night (814)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5721) Bad night (1368)
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  (619): View more from California

  FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??

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  (619): FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight?? http://tfl.nu/oa1o
  Replies (2) Good night (2157) Bad night (895)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close

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  (978): I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close http://tfl.nu/huvz
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (2177)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
  Replies (6) Good night (893) Bad night (1350)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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  (606): at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk. http://tfl.nu/jf5g
  Replies (11) Good night (530) Bad night (3619)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.

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  (515): You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/x4rf
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (492)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.

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  (208): If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that. http://tfl.nu/eu5z
  Replies (5) Good night (1798) Bad night (345)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...

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  (704): He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was... http://tfl.nu/35ga
  Replies (3) Good night (842) Bad night (567)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.

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  (778): Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town. http://tfl.nu/ynab
  Replies (4) Good night (784) Bad night (371)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (731)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.

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  (307): We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying. http://tfl.nu/19ej
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (288)

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