Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life