Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.

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  (815): someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd. http://tfl.nu/btmz
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (2132)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  4.

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  (443): How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner? (402): 4. http://tfl.nu/fuje
  Replies (15) Good night (3233) Bad night (638)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

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  (313): her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli http://tfl.nu/6z4f
  Replies (42) Good night (819) Bad night (5065)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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  (773): Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize. http://tfl.nu/bs3u
  Replies (6) Good night (3574) Bad night (686)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.

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  (605): I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry. http://tfl.nu/w271
  Replies (10) Good night (5312) Bad night (1008)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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  (814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11
  Replies (16) Good night (6828) Bad night (2243)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

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  (+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl
  Replies (8) Good night (985) Bad night (5586)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.

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  (248): He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that. http://tfl.nu/b2kf
  Replies (5) Good night (2284) Bad night (888)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.

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  (517): But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever. http://tfl.nu/ir44
  Replies (7) Good night (3293) Bad night (798)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

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  (317): I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you." http://tfl.nu/oa2r
  Replies (13) Good night (3919) Bad night (668)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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  (281): I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman. http://tfl.nu/ux8x
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (354)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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  (219): Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts? (219): Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/z832
  Replies (10) Good night (451) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.

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  (660): I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now. http://tfl.nu/b4q6
  Replies (5) Good night (1084) Bad night (536)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing

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  (503): Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing http://tfl.nu/v3ef
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.

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  (919): As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage. http://tfl.nu/44x8
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (211)

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