worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
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I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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