Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..

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  (781): Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22.. http://tfl.nu/txsi
  Replies (9) Good night (1470) Bad night (625)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What are you wearing to our high school reunion?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"

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  (404): What are you wearing to our high school reunion? (678): I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?" http://tfl.nu/i3zg
  Replies (27) Good night (4504) Bad night (591)
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  (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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  (347): k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza http://tfl.nu/rg2w
  Replies (31) Good night (1035) Bad night (5289)
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  (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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  (760): The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper. http://tfl.nu/pbch
  Replies (11) Good night (1054) Bad night (6582)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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  (715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn
  Replies (26) Good night (5305) Bad night (1318)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...

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  (321): I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised... http://tfl.nu/krhx
  Replies (14) Good night (5757) Bad night (1117)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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  (360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby
  Replies (32) Good night (1897) Bad night (7639)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.

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  (513): 4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/69sj
  Replies (11) Good night (2825) Bad night (777)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1648) Bad night (1488)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!

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  (604): I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits! http://tfl.nu/vxu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1168) Bad night (406)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."

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  (608): I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory." http://tfl.nu/0nol
  Replies (7) Good night (2592) Bad night (617)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.

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  (320): Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different. http://tfl.nu/42a5
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (338)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.

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  (604): You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement. http://tfl.nu/pi1i
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (355)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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  (218): Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young? http://tfl.nu/34pp
  Replies (17) Good night (1568) Bad night (425)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

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  (440): he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received. (440): he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick. http://tfl.nu/0dsn
  Replies (10) Good night (1269) Bad night (364)

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