True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.