Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
