I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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