I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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