you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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