Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
