You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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