Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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