once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's never too late to be topless.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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