if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
from now on my penis is your penis
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
