you have to choose: penises or morals?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
