i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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