you will always have a special place in my vag
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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