I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
