how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
