Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
