I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize