Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
