my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
