my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
