He is an equal opportunity slut.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm at about main and main street
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
