Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
