that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
