Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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