Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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