Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
