in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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