Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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