So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
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sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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