So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
