we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is Oprah even human
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
