How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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