She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
