Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize