we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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