if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
