I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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